© 2019 Therapeutic telephone Counselling Lotos

Development of attachement


First we have to talk about the emergence of attachment. At the age of 3 months, the child's signals, especially in times of distress, are directed only to the person who took care of the child. The voices and responses of the child are tuned with the response and voices of this caretaker, most often the mother. The child and mother are intensively interacting with ripening one another in the eyes, face-to-face, embrace and coordinated approximation. This process in adult relationships corresponds to the time when between two individuals is born a fall in love. In addition to agitation (less sleep, food, more energy), enthusiasm also brings moments of tranquility, peace and security: individuals behave safely, patronizing or cavalier, holding hands. The benefits of embrace in their brain trigger the secretion of oxytocin. They express the child's tenderness "chuckles" and reveal to each other painful memories, experiences and fears, with which they test how friendly and faithful their relationship is. Such behavior contains notions of future mutual care and care, and serves to create safe shelter (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 199).

Attachment in the years of growing up

In 1974, researchers at the Institute for the Development of the Child at the University of Minnesota began a longitudinal study with 267 mothers, which lasted for two decades and fully endorsed the research of early childhood (The Minesota Longitudinal Study of Parents and Children). In the first step of the study, children were classified at the age of one year through a test with a foreign situation. Then a group of children was reassessed at the age of four or five years. The results showed that most of the once-safe babies achieved higher results than children who were estimated at one year of age as being unsafe, in terms of self-image, positive response to peers, social skills and autonomy. Children who were considered safe at the age of one year were more popular among peers for six years, more resourceful, persevering, more open to cooperation, more responsive, more flexible, flexible and more compassionate. Their secure attachment in this period apparently acted as a protective factor against external sources of stress and as an incentive to develop additional skills (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 23).

In an era of school, avoidance-related children are exposed to feeling at risk among their peers. They will begin to avoid them, and especially their development will be threatened if their internal uncertainties will be accompanied by external sources of stress. They will become emotionally isolated from their surroundings, hostile or show signs of anti-social behavior, such as lying, cheating, and theft. Adults, such as teachers or peers, will be brought into a situation where they will begin to refuse them because of their actions, and they will also be committed to their peers (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 23).

Children who have been assessed as resistant / ambivalent at one year are seen to be self-sustaining and uncertain in the pre-school period. It seems as if they give up on every little thing that requires courage, independence and ingenuity. Because they have little positive experience in overcoming problems, and because they focus all their attention on seeking help and attention, in new situations they respond excessively and can not focus on the current circumstances. In unfamiliar situations, they operate helplessly, passively and frightened, and in known, angry and defensive (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 23).

Disorganized children aged up to a year may behave uncontrollably, violently and restlessly at a later age. We also see more dissociative behavior, characterized by unusual fractures, jumps or congestion in perception, memory, identity or consciousness. At the age of six years, disorganized behavior is arranged in a pattern in which the child takes on the appearance of all control over his surroundings and home. This is reflected as compulsion and supervision of parents, accompanied by humiliation and denial. Children in relation to their parents express the hatred that they fear and get rid of. On the other hand, these children are extremely protective and alert to their parents and treat them with the same way that parents should treat them. This form of attachment was called Bowlby reversed attachment. Parents usually do not react or show a minimal response to excessive care, attention and protection by the child (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 24).

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