© 2019 Therapeutic telephone Counselling Lotos

Conflict as an option for improving family relationships



Conflict is disagreement, conflict, contradiction; wider meaning: the conflict is every encounter of uncoordinated factors, it is the confrontation of diversity; the state that forces the response requires changes.


Conflicts occur when people have conflicting goals, values, interests.


Conflicts are inevitable and they are in every relationship (even in relation to the people we love). - It is good if we look at conflicts as problems that can be solved.


The conflict is not necessarily something negative, it can be an opportunity for development.



It is important two: to understand how a conflict arises, and to create an atmosphere that highlights the positive characteristics of the conflict. Conflict always arises because of the needs or desires of individuals who are prevented by someone from achieving them.

Positive properties of conflicts

1. They help to understand problems in relationships, so we are aware of them.

2. They show that people have different desires, and thus encourage change.

3. Mobilizing energy and thus increasing motivation to tackle problems

4. Eliminate stagnation, bring dynamics into the family.

5. Reduce tensions in everyday relationships, as they solve many tiny tensions.

6. An individual becomes aware of himself, notes what is causing him to anger, fear



  1. We define the conflict

  2. We collect all possible solutions (storm of the brain)

  3. Check the solutions

  4. We choose the best solution

  5. We make a plan (who, when, how we will conduct activities)

  6. Let's realize the plan

  7. Evaluate the whole process (the problem has disappeared, the situation is the same as before, the situation deteriorated?)


STRATEGIES (modes) SOLUTIONS OF CONFLICTS (mutual conflicts)


When resolving conflicts, it shows how much concern is and how much participation is in conflict. In view of this, we know various conflict resolution strategies:

    1. Avoidance, neutrality

    2. Dominance (win - defeat)

    3. Compromise

    4. Adjustment, smoothing, subordination

    5. Co-ordination solving the conflict - solving the original problem


Avoidance, neutrality

This is a low concern for personal goals and needs, and for the views and needs of the participant in the conflict. There is a withdrawal from a conflict situation or a desire to remain neutral.


Dominance (win - defeat)

In this solution, there is a high level of concern for personal goals and needs (enforcing their solution, pressure) and low concern for the views and needs of the participant in the conflict, therefore the relationship is little important or even irrelevant.



When a person is prepared to sacrifice a few personal goals so that he can take some account of the views and interests of the participant in a conflict situation in order to find a common (temporary) solution, it is a compromise.


Adjustment, smoothing, subordination

In this way, it is a planned subordination of one's own needs and personal goals to the interests and needs of the participant in a conflict situation. A person is usually subject to a fear of pressure that would probably arise if he did not commit himself.


Co-ordination solving the conflict - solving the original problem

When a person is equally concerned about his own needs and goals as well as for the needs and goals of the participant in a conflict situation, there is agreement, and a joint search for a suitable solution. Such a way usually leads to a final solution to the original problem, where there is neither a winner nor a loser.

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